Sometimes I Feel Lonely. Do you?

14 Comments

Yesterday I was in the park, usual afternoon walk with my baby, when it hit me. It was just something simple as a few moms hanging out with their children. But it hit me hard. I felt so jealous almost angry so angry. After I came home all what was left was loneliness. I realized how lonely motherhood can be. I don’t remember that I ever had those striking lonely moments. In fact I wish to cry to have one long session of tears I think it would make me feel better.

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I remember relating Β lonelinessΒ to boredness. But I’m not bored, I’m constantly overwhelmed with too many things going on everyday all at once and I am exhausted from all the rushing around all the time. I just want everything to be perfect my parenting, my home, my work. It is so hard to keep up. I never have been busier, Mia needs nap, to eat, bath, walk, play; shopping has to be done, dinner has to be made…and on..and on..and on. I used to consider myself as a very organised person hah most of the days I struggle to do musts. Whole my life I loved mornings! It was my favorite part of the day, now I HATE mornings before 12 pm I’m totally exhausted. Happy if I managed to write TO DO LIST which I won’t be able to complete and it continues tomorrow and after tomorrow.

Sometimes I just want to have long conversation with someone other than T. Someone with femail anatomy. Someone in same life stage as me. Someone that gets me. Someone that will tell me that weaning won’t take forever.

Then, Β when 7 pm strikes and she is sound asleep I think, mama, it is OK to be lonely. It is OK to have 10 minutes shower, to spend most of the day booing and gooing, it is OK to have lunch while multitasking. I know this is just a ”season” most scariest one I have ever experienced. But I know that my baby now needs me and I wouldn’t give her first smile, her first goo, her first movement, those super loud mornings and much more to come for anything in this life. I don’t mind sleepless nights too. I know that I never will be more loved and wanted and needed than I’m now as mama…in this moment. So I took loneliness to follow me (it won’t last forever).

If you feel same and would like to share please do. I would love to hear from you.

L xxx

14 Comments
  • Milena

    Reply

    This is so honest!!I admire how you openly said something that not many people/parents/mothers are ready to admit to themselves and say to others.
    I am not a parent but I had a taste of what you are talking about when I was looking after children. It can be a lonely affair. I also saw other mothers going through it feeling they should not show it.

    I do feel lonely sometimes. I try not to despair, fight it or let the loneliness find home… I try to see it as part of my life at the moment and I believe that it can offer good space for reflection and observation.
    And the most important thing is knowing that it will pass…

    Love
    Milena

    • MLK123

      Thank you dear Milena! xxx

  • Karrie

    Reply

    I feel this way sometimes too, all too frequently really. Thanks for sharing so honestly. Not sure where you are. I’d befriend you! Take care.

    • MLK123

      Thank you Karrie, I know it gets tough sometimes. I’m in Ealing, if you’re around drop me line happy to catch up. X

  • Danielle

    Reply

    Such a true post. With my first I had lots of feeling of loneliness, and some sadness mixed in. I actually went to talk to my doctor, since I am usually a pretty positive person. I ended up with a very mild case of post partum depression. What really helped me was joining a moms club in my area (I live in the States). I was able to have adult conversations, and it helped soooo much. Now that my daughter is older, she gets to play, while I relax. Hang in there momma!

    • MLK123

      Dear Danielle,
      thank you so much for reading and posting. Yes it does takes time to used to everything. I’m after new mama friends πŸ˜‰

  • Alexis

    Reply

    I think a lot of mamas feel what you feel. I recently posted about “dating” other mamas. Like I thought I was done dating once I got married. Nope. In order to find a mama friend I meshed with I had to put myself out there and form new relationships. It was exhausting, but my sanity needed a mama friend to vent to and laugh with and remind myself that I was a woman before children and she still needed love and interaction too! You are definitely not alone and I applaud you for being so open and honest about your experience.

    • MLK123

      Dear Alexis,

      Thank you a lot for comment it means to know that I’m not alone. X

  • Gretchen

    Reply

    Love your transparency…I have so many kids I lack on the lonely…part..in some ways but in other ways..I feel so alone..so many don’t understand why we have so many children and adopted so many and so in those ways I do feel alone! I love my online community! It has brought me so many new friends and faces. Especially since getting out is sooo much harder these days with the twins!!!
    I love you blog!!

    • MLK123

      Dear Gretchen,

      I admire your bravery. You are some super mama. It means A LOT to be supported by someone like you! X

  • Cassie

    Reply

    Very honest post! It’s hard to admit those deep feelings we sometimes try to bury within us, especially once we are mothers. I think many mom’s feel “shame” in these feelings, although they definitely should not. It’s always nice to read posts that so many of us can relate to at one time or another.

    • MLK123

      Dear Cassie,

      thank you yes it is hard to admit but I think it is better to share…in the end it is just phase of the life πŸ˜‰ X

  • Kim

    Reply

    I definitely relate. I worked for some long then decided to stay home with my kids. What an emotional change – I was and still can be very lonely. I crave friendship – especially when the days are so long, yet friends are just as busy as me. It’s so hard, and it’s one thing they do not tell you when you become a mom. Thank you for your honesty!

    • MLK123

      Dear Kim,

      Thank you for reading.

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